Little Johnny Joke | 431 That’ll Crack You Up 2025 

By Dulcie Mae

From the classroom to the dinner table, Little Johnny has a way of turning every situation into a comedy. 

Whether you’re in the mood for some clever wordplay or just need a lighthearted break, these jokes are sure to do the trick!


Little Johnny’s School Adventures

Little Johnny’s School Adventures
  • Teacher: “If you have five apples and you give away three, how many do you have left?”
    Little Johnny: “Two… and a stomachache if they’re sour.”
  • Teacher: “Johnny, why are you late for school?”
    Little Johnny: “Because I wanted to hear all the good things you were saying about me before I got here!”
  • Teacher: “If you spell ‘dog’ backward, what do you get?”
    Little Johnny: “A very confused dog!”
  • Teacher: “Johnny, why are you doing your math homework on the floor?”
    Little Johnny: “Because you said not to use tables.”
  • Teacher: “If you have 10 chocolates and your friend takes 3, what do you have?”
    Little Johnny: “A fight.”

Little Johnny and His Clever Comebacks

  • Mom: “Why did you eat your homework, Johnny?”
    Little Johnny: “Because my teacher said it was a piece of cake!”
  • Teacher: “Johnny, why are you always so late?”
    Little Johnny: “My dad says I’m worth the wait.”
  • Teacher: “Why are you writing your name in the middle of the page?”
    Little Johnny: “Because I want to be the center of attention!”
  • Teacher: “Johnny, why did you get such a low grade on this test?”
    Little Johnny: “Because of absence.”
    Teacher: “You were absent on the day of the test?”
    Little Johnny: “No, but my brain was.”
  • Teacher: “Johnny, why didn’t you do your homework?”
    Little Johnny: “I did! But I accidentally dropped it into the paper shredder.”

Little Johnny’s Logic

Little Johnny’s Logic
  • Teacher: “Johnny, can you tell me where the Great Wall of China is?”
    Little Johnny: “Yes, it’s in China!”
  • Teacher: “If you had one dollar and asked your father for another dollar, how much would you have?”
    Little Johnny: “One dollar.”
    Teacher: “You don’t know your math.”
    Little Johnny: “You don’t know my dad!”
  • Teacher: “Johnny, if you had five apples and I took away two, how many would you have left?”
    Little Johnny: “Five. You can’t just take my apples!”
  • Teacher: “Johnny, what’s the capital of France?”
    Little Johnny: “F.”
  • Teacher: “Johnny, give me a sentence using the word ‘I.’”
    Little Johnny: “I is… no, wait, I am the smartest in the class.”

Little Johnny’s Family Moments

  • Mom: “Johnny, if you keep making that face, it’ll freeze like that!”
    Little Johnny: “Good! Then I’ll always look this handsome!”
  • Dad: “Johnny, stop playing with your food!”
    Little Johnny: “But my mashed potatoes are calling for backup!”
  • Mom: “Johnny, did you clean your room?”
    Little Johnny: “Yes, I cleaned a path from the door to the bed.”
  • Grandma: “Johnny, back in my day, kids respected their elders.”
    Little Johnny: “Back in your day, there were only three kids!”
  • Uncle: “Johnny, what do you want to be when you grow up?”
    Little Johnny: “An adult, so I can tell other kids what to do!”

Little Johnny’s Mischief

Little Johnny’s Mischief
  • Teacher: “Johnny, where is your homework?”
    Little Johnny: “My dog ate it.”
    Teacher: “But you don’t have a dog.”
    Little Johnny: “I know. But I plan to get one someday, so I’m just getting into the habit.”
  • Teacher: “Johnny, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have 50 years ago.”
    Little Johnny: “Me!”
  • Teacher: “Johnny, you’ll never pass if you keep this up.”
    Little Johnny: “Then I’ll just run!”
  • Teacher: “Johnny, can you tell me what ‘chaos’ means?”
    Little Johnny: “When you have a substitute teacher.”
  • Teacher: “Johnny, why do you always put your homework in your pocket?”
    Little Johnny: “So I can say I have pockets full of knowledge.”

Conclusion

Little Johnny jokes are the perfect blend of innocent humor and clever wordplay, making them timeless classics for people of all ages. Whether it’s in the classroom, at home, or just hanging out with friends, these jokes are sure to get a laugh every time. So the next time you need a quick chuckle, remember Little Johnny and his hilarious antics!


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